SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART I What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag. Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? One US leader. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts. Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any. Why is Chelsea Clinton so homely? Because Janet Reno is her real father.

What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together? 100 people who don't do d**k.